the internet adds 100 pounds

They say the camera adds 10 pounds.  That may be true, but 10 pounds is far too little to account for the extra weight on these poor photo subjects. 

silent bob bulks up

silent bob bulks up


broad bookworm broad

broad bookworm broad


Apparently someone skipped the chapter on “aspect ratio” in their online advertising for dummies course.  This is what happens when you ignore the boring little text telling you what size your photo should be and just upload the thing. 

I feel kind of sorry for silent bob.  I think he’s supposed to be smiling or something, but it looks like he’s gritting his teeth in agonising pain while the text of his ad squeezes his head like Shredder‘s helmet in the garbage truck at the end of the first TMNT movie

I suppose I can forgive the intelligent single chick for not knowing about an obscure brainiac topic like aspect ratios; from the looks of things, she doesn’t get out of the library much.  If she did, she would know that she could find most of that stuff online instead of lugging around those heavy tomes.  And, being the intelligent single she clearly is, she would quickly learn about aspect ratios and fix her ad. 

But perhaps I’m too quick to forgive.  Maybe I don’t give her enough credit.  Maybe she DOES know about aspect ratios, but decided to upload this photo, uncropped.  In silent bob’s torture chamber, there clearly is no room to crop the photo without cutting off part of his head like that guy in Hannibal.  {That guy took “brainiac” to a whole new level.}  Looking again at the bookish broad, it seems that the photo could easily be cropped to allow her face to show as nature intended it.  For most dating site ads this would be out of the question, as the upper-torso area is . . . well, important to capturing the attention of a 27 year old male.  But here we would only lose the books.  

Shelly's Glasses

trying too hard


Hmm . . . Either she is trying too hard or she is making an assertion I cannot agree with. 

If she’s trying too hard to look nerdy, like that scene in The House Bunny where Shelly tries to act brainy on her date with Oliver, that would mean she might actually be a Playboy bunny.  I could deal with that. 

The other possibility is that she is equating the appeal of boobs with the appeal of books.  Um, no.

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