BROCKLEE—Last week’s hospitalizations were just the latest casualties in a sordid drug drama playing out on the streets of Brocklee. Drug use and trafficking is nothing new, but hospitals have seen a significant increase in ER visits related to the use of “Hummeth,” or hummus laced with methamphetamine.
“It’s your classic ‘party drug’ situation,” explains Captain Jack Delmont of the Brocklee Police Department. “You go to a party, someone puts out some pita chips and veggies and a bowl of Hummeth. Next thing you know, you’ve been going for 10, 12, 14 hours… In addition to the whole human tragedy element—you know, giving unsuspecting kids their first taste of a highly addictive, highly illegal drug—it results in a lot of ‘disturbing the quiet’ violations.”
Delmont notes that Brocklee PD has seen a substantial increase in the number of citations given for “disturbing the quiet enjoyment of the home” (i.e. violations of noise ordinance).
The question that nobody can seem to answer: where does the meth come from in the first place?
Brocklee has always been on the cutting edge of environmentally-friendly planning and programs. The city has reached a new contract agreement with waste management conglomerate “BIG” following their acquisition of the now defunct “Wastes of the West.”
“I’m very pleased with the arrangement,” the Mayor said Tuesday. “I know there was a lot of frustration with the limited recycling programs offered by Wastes of the West. With BIG we have the opportunity not only to catch up with the times, we can be seen as a model for cities of the future. That’s what Superecycling is all about.”
Superecycling involves elements of regular trash pickup, recycling, upcycling, composting, and charitable donations of used goods. BIG has chosen Brocklee businessman Mark Zeiger (and his agency, iSoar Advertising) as its Brocklee Public Relations representative. The following is Zeiger’s simple graphic explaining superecycling, and an open letter to the people of Brocklee.