abner “no rounders” doubleday

Posted on 12 June, 2013 by Hank

Baseball is America’s pasttime. But did you know that the Brits tried to take credit for inventing baseball? Cheeky bastards.

In the late 19th century and early 20th century, a dispute arose about the origins of baseball and whether it had been invented in the United States or formed as a variation of the British game of rounders. The theory that the sport was created in the U.S. was backed by Chicago Cubs president Albert Spalding and National League president Abraham G. Mills. In 1889, Mills gave a speech declaring that baseball was American, which he said was determined through “patriotism and research”; a crowd of about 300 people responding by chanting “No rounders!” |from Wikipedia

An investigative committee determined that baseball was, in fact, American: created by Union General Abner Doubleday. According to legend, the first game was held in Cooperstown, NY, on or around June 12, 1839. The baseball hall of fame is located there in commemoration of that blessed event.

the father of baseball

Many historians have since disputed the claim that Big Abner fathered America’s pasttime. In fact, it is referred to on wikipedia as the “Doubleday Myth.” Talk about biased writing! I should try to have it changed to “Doubleday Controversy.”

Oh well. As they say, “Haters gonna hate.” At least I have Bud Selig on my side:

The myth has also received the backing of Major League Baseball commissioner Bud Selig, who said in 2010 that “I really believe that Abner Doubleday is the ‘Father of Baseball.'”

Happy 174th birthday, baseball!

Is that BEC in your laser-cooled magnetic trap, or are you just happy to see me?

Posted on 5 June, 2013 by Hank

evaporative cooling animated gif of Bose-Einstein condensate

As the temperature drops, the atoms suddenly collapse into a different state of matter, Bose-Einstein condensate (BEC)

The face of BEC, by Michael Hanna for fantasticdrivel.com

because it’s always nice to put a face with a name (even if it’s the name of a state of matter)

SUPERCOOL: Carl Weiman and Eric Cornell, the guys who made BEC in 1995.

On June 5, 1995, two guys made a really cold lump of Rubidium, and the world was never the same.

That’s right: it was 18 years ago today that Eric Cornell and Carl Weiman brought about 2,000 rubidium-87 atoms within 170 billionths of a degree from absolute zero. When you get something that cold, it “condenses” into a different state of matter (solid, liquid, gas, and plasma are the four most common states of matter). This state of matter was first predicted by Satyendra Nath Bose and Albert Einstein in 1924–25. Named after its predictors, the stuff is called Bose-Einstein condensate (BEC for short).

I’ve thrown in a couple of my own graphic representations (because it’s always nice to put a face with a name…), but the rest of this stuff comes from the University of Colorado Physics 2000 web portal. You really should check out their evaporative cooling applet. It’s very cool. In more ways than one.

BEC face equation for fantasticdrivel.com

if you get these two guys cold enough…

Bose-Einstein Condensation at 400, 200, and 50 nano-Kelvins

wiki.answers.wtf? Igor’s favorite foods

Posted on 29 May, 2013 by Hank

The answer monkeys have struck again.

Today, while trying to learn Igor Stravinsky’s favorite foods, I again clicked over to wiki.answers.com. My experience there last week should have prepared me for the kind of “relevant answers” I might encounter (see last week’s post). I am more confident than ever that dactylographic [i.e. “typewriting”] monkeys are behind these so-called “relevant answers.”

random ass answers to Igor Stravinsky question

What did Igor Stravinsky like to eat? This answer sheds little light on the subject.

In case that image didn’t load, here’s the transcript:

What kind of foods did Igor Stravinsky like to eat

Relevant answers:

What kind of food they like to eat?

they eat tacos and they put different kinds of stuff on it they have different taste then us

What kind of food does a hores like to eat?

most likely hay

I am again reminded of one of my favorite posts, the second part of Zoo World 3, where I worked out the deeper meaning behind a strip-club review by a reviewer known only as “dan.” I might attempt something similar with these relevant answers, but for now, you can enjoy dan’s work here.

whatever floats your boat

Posted on 22 May, 2013 by Hank

drawings from Abraham Lincoln’s patent

It was 164 years ago today that Abraham Lincoln was awarded a patent for an improved method of buoying vessels over shoals. Kind of like water wings for a riverboat.

After reporting to Washington for his two year term in Congress (beginning March 1847), Lincoln retained Zenas C. Robbins, patent attorney. Robbins most probably had drawings done by Robert Washington Fenwick, his apprentice artist. Robbins processed the application, which became patent No. 6,469 on 22 May 1849. However, it was never produced for practical use. There are doubts as to whether it would have actually worked: It “likely would not have been practical,” stated Paul Johnston, curator of maritime history at the National Museum of American History, “because you need a lot of force to get the buoyant chambers even two feet down into the water. My gut feeling is that it might have been made to work, but Lincoln’s considerable talents lay elsewhere.” |from Wikipedia

To paraphrase Mr. Johnston, “Abraham Lincoln was probably better at other stuff (preserving the Union through a devastating Civil War, abolishing slavery, changing the course of human history, etc.) than he was at inventing improved methods for buoying vessels over shoals.” Truth.

Nevertheless, Lincoln is the only President in U.S. history to have been awarded a patent. How about that.

patent no. 6469 | photo: treasuresthouhast (David and Jessie)

wiki.answers.wtf?

Posted on 20 May, 2013 by Hank

I am currently working on a video for a sculpture I’m selling. You can see my art-for-sale videos on my YouTube channel, YouTube.com/MichaelHanna. Sometime in the next few days I hope to post a video for a bronze recast of a “J. Moigniez” golden eagle sculpture. Whilst searching for pricing on similar pieces, I came across a Moigniez appraisal question on wiki.answers.com.

if you ask a stupid question…

(note my deft use of the “complete-the-idiom” technique)

The thing is, it wasn’t a stupid question. At least, the question I asked wasn’t stupid. The question that was answered…well, that’s a different story.

random ass answer to Jules Moigniez appraisal query

SPOILER ALERT! Harry Potter fans who are behind on their reading, beware: this answer contains information about Potter Progeny.

In case that image didn’t load, here’s the transcript:

What is the average appraisal price for Jules Moigniez racehorse sculpture?

Relevant answers:

Average price for average price of a airplane?

Harry Potter had three children by the names of Lily Potter, Albus Severus Potter, and James Potter, with the mother being Ginny Weasley.

Hmm. If this is the most “relevant” answer, I’d be interested to see some of the irrelevant ones. I can suggest two possible explanations, although I don’t have time to do any follow-up. At least not right now.

the law of averages of averages

The “Law of Averages” isn’t technically “on the books” anywhere. So maybe it’s more like “common law.” I don’t remember it from Law School. But then, I failed out after one year. So maybe that’s a 2L thing.

To paraphrase the Law of Averages: things tend to even out over time.

But this answer is to a question about the average of an average. Like the derivative of a derivative. That would be a second derivative. So maybe this is a second average. Of the “price of a airplane.” Sic.

I’d like to propose the “Law of Averages of Averages,” which would go something like this:

AVERAGE( AVERAGE( X ) ) = HARRY POTTER

Where X is pretty much anything. In our case, the “price of a airplane.” Sic.

infinite monkey theorem

According to a common variation of the famous “infinite monkey theorem,” the entire collected works of William Shakespeare could be reproduced with sufficient quantities of monkeys, typewriters, and time. For an in-depth look at the theorem, including simian simulations, check out Zoo World 3.04.

dactylographic [i.e. “typewriting”] chimp, ready to answer your toughest questions

I’m not sure how many monkeys it would take to reproduce the works of J.K. Rowling. Nor do I know how many monkeys are employed by wiki.answers.com. There is a decidedly random element to this answer, though. Dactylographic [i.e. “typewriting”] monkeys could be behind it all.

a good answer?

This particular question-and-answer exchange was pretty worthless to me in my Moigniez search, but that might not be the best way to evaluate its worth. After all, as a wiser person than me once said:

A good answer raises more questions than it answers.

Judging by that metric, I’d say this answer is pretty damn good.

(here’s a rotated version for pinterest…)